How Hard Can it Be?

How hard can it be

To assemble a simple gingerbread house?

I made the pieces myself

They are crooked and too thick

I can see that looking at other mothers’
But there is royal icing,
A trusty popsicle stick for spreading
Candies for decorating
It will soon be done
A simple activity for kindergarten

How hard can it be?

Harder than you think
Clumsy hands, too heavy walls
I am shaky and confused
I look around
All the other houses are standing
Only my child is feeling the pain of continuous collapse

 What do I do?

 I am without hope in my own resources
My artist friend comes to my rescue
With skillful, steady hands
She places buttress sticks inside
Invisible but strong enough to keep the walls from falling in
Is it cheating?
Perhaps, but we are saved
Life is good again
 
Today I am that cookie house
My walls are collapsing
My strength is buckling
Under the strain of work and change
The endless to dos, staying positive
Laughing, shrugging off the loss,
The giving away
The finality of so many things
 
How do you say goodbye to something dear
A piece of yourself everyday?
The little things and not so little things
How do you keep pushing forward
How do you say goodbye to your life and your past
How do you say goodbye to a brother
Friend and teacher
Always bigger, always strong
How do you do that when
There are boxes to pack and trucks to arrange
 
How do you say goodbye to the beloved hill
With her flowers and sunrises and inspiration
The peace that renewed my strength so many hard days
How do you when carpets and kitchens
Must be cleaned for new owners
 
Why, when it makes sense
Do I sob when the men take the piano away?
How do I say goodbye to the hours of music
And testimony and sharing and fun
How when it was in my life since my beginning
 
Gone are pictures, lovingly made first quilts
Costumes and rackets,
Skis and pots my Father gave me
Books and articles
Artifacts of thoughts and past concerns
All me and my life
What was once but not now

My buttress of optimism

The resolve to do this right
To be strong for others
Is weak today
Where is my artist friend to rescue me
With just the right support, unseen but strong
The Master of Galilee is close I know
How do I find him?
It turns out he is just a musical prayer away
Thank-you Rob Gardner