It’s a fairly established idea that losing is hard for anyone to take. Setting goals, working hard, putting all you have into something, only to come up short and lose is framed as either character building or soul destroying. Our choice, the motivators of the world say. What do we make of our failures? Examples of famous perseverance are quoted - Diefenbaker who lost 4 elections and eventually became Prime Minister. Keep trying and you too will win. My cynical self wonders how many failures of the world have done then and actually never won. Should have given up at the beginning. The personal experience of losing however is not my concern in this musing. What is, is the meaning of losing to others who watch.
This week-end Anne had 3 playoff basketball games in 24 hours. These rounded out a week of 8 basketball games and practices in 6 days. Friday her school team was playing for the Division championship, have beaten their closest rival by only one point on Wednesday in a nail biter. Friday the same close game was repeated only this time to see them lose in overtime by one point. Anne was not happy with her playing and, had she made her usual number of points, likely the outcome would have been different. She is arguably one of the very best players and plays almost the whole game every game on that team.
On Saturday the losing was repeated as her community first won another close game against a bunch of giants. The final game for them in the afternoon that would have given them the bronze in the A division, saw them blow a 10 point lead and lose by, you guessed it, only a couple of points. Anne’s take on it was - no big deal, they couldn't go to the provincials anyway.
My take on it? These losses came at the end of a very long and difficult week and seemed like a metaphor for my life. Almost winning but not. I had so wanted Anne to win. Winning seemed important, almost life and death at the time. Why? Because it was someone I loved who lost. I think it was not the winning or the losing but the meaning I put on it.
I thought about my own athletic career and remembered my favourite volleyball game ever. It was in the Canadian National Junior championships. We were fortunate to be there. We were ranked 3rd in the province even though our school had only 250 students and had beaten the junior teams from UofC and UofA to get there. We had a hippy for a coach who was a visionary leader but not an athlete. The game I was thinking about was against a team from Montreal. It was so close with long rallies and hard fought points and ... we lost. And, I didn't care. It was a thrill to play so well, so hard and winning didn't matter. I just felt good and that was all it meant. It really was like the cliche, how I played the game and not about winning or losing.
On another note - cudo's to Andrew R and his basketball team. He has taken talented individuals and turned them into a wonderful and winning team. They were great to watch last night as they trounced Winston Churchill.
1 comment:
Mere, I made some changes and had trouble reposting it. In the process I lost your question and yes, I am the third from the right. Betty Baxter, the later Olympic athlete is to my left. Charlotte to my right and Paully, the actress in Flatliners and another movie I can't remember the name is on the far left.
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